After doing such a great job last weekend, we thought we would get @justus_beets to save our bacon again this week by giving us his breakdown of each Super Rugby match in the South African Conference this weekend – after that, our panel picks their Super Rugby Team of the Week.

Kings v Stormers

The 2nd game at home for the unbeaten Kings and the 1st one away from home for the unbeaten Stormers. The Stormers made lots of changes, some due to injury and some to frustrate the fans who feel the best team should play every game and they also decided to make the most “emotionally unstable” player, captain for the match (the very Scent of a woman part where he and Chris Cloete grabbed each other is sure to generate some Oscar buzz come 2018).

The Stormers were all over the Kings the entire game, but after (roughly) 75 minutes, the Stormers somehow only managed a 17 point lead, which shocked me a bit, but luckily I was open-mouth kissing a brandy and coke at that time, which helped absorb the shock. But again, I feed you the cliché, a win is a win and the points value for a victory stays the same no matter the opposition.

Well done, Stormers.

Cheetahs v Sunwolves

A record breaking fixture in 2016, surely another massacre awaited the players from the Japan. No massacre to see here, folks, move along, no massacre to see here, move along!

The Cheetahs who looked like they were teleported straight from the Bulls game to this one, scraped home, at home, which should be an easier scrape, but wasn’t. This was sandpaper on the eyes for Cheetahs fans, with the unknown players from the land of the drowning Sunwolf scoring time and time again to what seemed to be their own surprise. The Cheetahs have suffered a lot of injuries and their depth will surely be tested in the coming weeks, but I fear that the S.S Orange might be a sinking ship.

I so dearly hope I’m wrong.

Not so well done, Cheetahs!

Sharks v Waratahs

After starting their season on tour, the men from Durban finally returned home and they did so with some points in the bag. They had a tricky team to face, that team being former winners, the Waratahs. But the Sharks were near perfect even after losing Pat Lambie to some mysterious illness that apparently strikes the victim down 5 minutes after jogging on to a rugby field.

Curwin Bosch came on, slotted in at 10 and he fit in like a nose job in the Jackson family, scoring 27 of his team’s points. No. 8 Tera Mtembu took over the captaincy and much like Bosch and Nababeep’s very own Kobus van Wyk celebrated Lambie’s injury with a try. Israel Folau was the only Waratahs players that made his way over the Sharks try-line and found the first time so enjoyable he did it again. A near perfect performance (unfortunately the Sharks didn’t get the try distance between them and the ‘Tahs to secure a bonus point) what a player JL du Preez has become, he’s as good on field as he is terrible during interviews. This kid’s playing good rugby and he’s doing it consistently, get that PRODUCT APPROVED stamp out.

Very well done, Sharks!

Jaguares v Lions

Flashback to 2016, when the Lions sent a watered-down team over to face the Argentine bruisers and lost, not only the game but valuable log points that cost them a home final.  Leaving Rohan Janse van Rensburg and Elton Jantjies out can be excused, cause Rohan’s mother’s funeral clashed with the tour game and Elton became a dad again, which brings a sort of natural sad poetry to the last few days, with one teammate having to say a final goodbye to a loved one and the other saying a first hello to a loved one.

The Lions-lite struggled from the get go, trying to keep the taste of blood out of the Jaguares jaws. Regular Lions captain, Warren Whiteley, started the game and scored two tries on the day, but the distance between the fringe players and guys like Malcolm Marx and Jaco Kriel was one Evel Knievel would find hard to jump.

They tried to pull the Lions up a mountain, but this was a full of confidence Jaguares side with a lot of Argentinian internationals that went into the halftime break 21 – 7 ahead.

And in the end, the Lions went home with a loss and the only difference from last season and this weekend being the “lost log points” discussion, that will come up later on and not immediately like in 2016.

Better luck and better planning next time, Lions!

Anyway… Enough of all the talking – let’s dig in and see who made the Super Rugby Team of the Week for each member of our panel.